I’ve met several men this year that have found themselves in the unfortunate hands and clutches of the destructive American disease of divorce. I’ve also met women that have found themselves in the same similar situations. The interesting fact is these individuals did not want to end their marriages and even recommended counseling and other avenues. The law however, did not protect their desire to “work out” their marriages. The current laws of many states do not protect the sanctity of marriage and actually provide an easy way out…the “no fault” divorce. In many states, there has to be clear evidence of infidelity or abuse before a divorce can be granted. In addition, these states require marital counseling as a condition before a divorce can be granted. There is a disturbing rise in the incidence of divorce petitions, among women in particular though. Why is there such a rise? Analysts believe the “no fault” divorce is the reason for this rise in petitions.

A No-fault divorce is divorce in which the dissolution of a marriage does not require fault of either party to be shown, or, indeed, any evidential proceedings at all. It occurs on petition to the court, typically a family court by either party, without the requirement that the petitioner show fault on the part of the other party. Either party may request, and receive, the dissolution of the marriage, despite the objections of the other party. (definition gathered from Wikipedia.com) What does this mean? As a husband or wife, no matter how hard you fight to protect your marriage, it is pointless if the other spouse has filed such a divorce petition. No fault divorces, once filed, can not be stopped by the spouse that does not want to dissolve the marriage.

In addition, if the spouse that did not want divorce does not respond it can result in a “default judgement.” In plain terms, the spouse that filed the petition can request an unfair division of property and assets and actually win. According to the law, the spouse that did not file the petition must file a response to the petition within a 60 day period or face a potential default judgement. Filing a response can cost on average $700.00 and up. The responding spouse usually has little time to gather finances to file such a response. According to critics of no fault divorces, “the Petitioner has the opportunity to prepare for the battle to follow, while the Respondent often is trying to hold the marriage together.” Simply put, the petitioning spouse can literally plan for months (by changing accounts, phone numbers, etc.) an exit strategy to leave the marriage while the other spouse is unaware. What are the implications of a no fault divorce?

If a spouse is cheating and wants to leave the marriage with the “upper-hand”, they can file a no fault divorce. Whereas a traditional divorce would put them in an unfavorable position, a no fault divorce actually gives the cheating spouse an opportunity to have equal access to property and assets. In addition, an abusive spouse can file a no fault divorce and receive equal access to assets and property. Is this fair to the spouse that is trying to hold the marriage together? Is this a balanced law? According to Wikipedia.com, critics of no fault divorce also say the following:

“An unfaithful wife who becomes pregnant in an affair may end her marriage, take possession of the home, custody of the children, and collect a portion of her husband’s income for years into the future. An abusive husband can file for divorce and force his wife out of the home, close her out of the family finances and close all credit cards and bank accounts at the time when she needs them in order to mount her own legal defense. In neither of these examples does the respondent have any meaningful recourse in an effort to seek reconciliation, hold the family together, and maintain or restore previous, jointly stated vows of commitment.”

Is a no fault divorce really lawful? It gives the spouse that wanted to end the marriage the “upper hand” in many cases. It also allows for women and men alike to use trivial excuses to end their marriages. If a spouse gets too angry, or “falls out of love,” or doesn’t like your hairstyle or the clothes that you wear, they can divorce you and literally legally blind side you without you having any access to or knowledge of the petition being filed until they decide. It sounds ridiculous, but this petition type as a whole is ridiculous. Marriage should never be entered into as an option, it must be a commitment. If someone is not there to stay, they should never enter into the union or they will find themselves utilizing such an option as this and equally emotionally injuring the life of the “respondent,” or the spouse that really wanted to be married and work it out.

Even if states are going to allow such proceedings, there needs to be more safeguards in place to protect the spouse that is the respondent. Is a no fault divorce fair? Divorce situations are so sad, you actually have to laugh your way through it…

THE DIVORCE SONG[youtube=http://youtube.com/w/?v=T2gg3Q81was]